Rachaels Blog.

Maybe if you believed in me i could have more belief in myself, one day i will fully believe in myself and i am slowly starting to realise that this increases corresponding with my age increasing.

Sometimes i look back and think if i had of done things diffrerently maybe i’d be a professional swimmer or dancer from where hobbies had orginated and had the power not to give up.

However it’s also important that as well as looking back you can look forward

Those who have the power to change your life is only yourself, the others around it affect your decisions and influence your mind but they don’t make the overall changes, you have the authority over anyone.

Friends,Parents,Teachers,Family; may all attempt to change your mind, be little you and make you feel as though your doing the wrong thing for this reason or that, but if you believe you want to persue a particualr thing then i think why the fuck not?

You only live once so why not live it how you want to.

Friends.

Some people often wonder what a true friend is,
but can it actually be written into a context that explores the several different sides of it.

For some people a friendship is just simply having someone to spend there spare time with shopping, cinemas and what not, but other having a friendship is like havign extra family, almost so much that you round each other’s houses numerous times a week catching up on gossip.

You know that your close when you have jsut left each other but still have to ring each other or get in contact minutes later because something new happened and felt the need to share it.

Friendship is based on trust and loyalty, the fact a true friend would never ditch you for a guy but if you truely think about it; would you neglect a chance to be with a super hot guy for your friend. Truth is thats life, friendships mean making sacrifices and balancing relationships out both ways. Personally i have been left the third wheel many a time, probably because i hadl ittle confidence and let a certain person walk all over me time and time again, from this experiance i realised why the saying friends before guy’s exists. I would never put my friend in a situation where they felt uncomfortable about being around me and the guy i’m with or whatever; theres no excuses and nothing more belittling than knowing your not wanted.

On the complete opposite side, friendships work both ways and if your not going to make an effort then why the bloody hell should I.

Safety net,everybody has one person they are closet to, maybe more and to be honest i think its healthy for a human being to have someone they can confide in about every singe thing in their life and have someone there to be there saftey net ready to catch them when they fall.

What do you do when the person you most trust with every single thing in your life neglects you and they are the only person who can make things feel like they are going to be ok just disappears; You shouldn;t revolve your world around one person and too right you shouldnt because if they leave you you might just be screwed after being dependant on another.

There are so many unwritten rules of friendships; GIrls over boys or Not to cancel for a man. But what if you don;t know any of these codes, what happens then? are you screwed or can you get by simply by doing waht you personally think is best as opposed to doing what everyone else sees as the right thing.

A blog full of rhetorical questions as i believe nobody knows the anwser to such questions.
everybody ahs backstabbed there friends once in their lifetime and doen something they haven’t been proud of, but who’s to say a little mistake now and then still doesnt mean you are a good friend.

gahh you get on and theres no where to sit, so you make your way to the back intentionally avoiding the fold up push chair seats knowing half way through the journey you woulds have to unwillingly vacate yoru seat.

End up sitting right at the back surrounded by two people who think its okay to have the loudest conversation which you really don;t want to be listeing to when youv;e had a busy day and just want a bit of piece and quiet, squished in by two people getting closer to you every second and hearing there petty problems of the day.Great. 

Next thing thers a young child at the front of the bus screamign its head, its freezing inside the bus and the heater is most likely broken whilst theres

At the time which you thought you would be surrounded by new faces and loving personality’s you have never felt more alone than you have ever done before, a great transition that was supposed to make you much more happier and confident within yourself completely reversed back up into a spiral of uncomfortable feelings or bottled up emotions bursting to cry out.

Everyone seems to have moved on and the people you thought cared and appreciated you have forgotten you its as if you never existed in their daily life when actually once you were all they ranted and raved about as long as they could.

Sometimes it’s just easier to give up, that way you never have to try, can never fail and therefore never feel unaccomplished in something you have failed to commit to. In my childhood i must of taken up various hobbies or sport; whatever you fancy calling them, from dancing to swimming with lessons of karate inbetween however when things got difficult it was easier to say i quit. Sometimes i wish my parents would of pushed me, maybe forced me into having to comitt to at least one thing, not only would i actually probably be good at something it would of shown me you can’t just quit when things get hard. You can’t quit friends, education,family. You can’t just ignore about every aspect of life. Otherwise who would you be now without a coalition of factors that contribute to every day life.

It’s hard. But nobody ever said that life would be easy. So to anyone who’s reading this, it’s much better to fail and stick around, it would make you a bigger, stronger person than just simply saying no and running away from your problems.

Everyday i see people changing around and theres nothing you can do but let it happen, after all it is their life isn;t it. It’s just hard to get your head around the fact that the people who you used to talk to on a daily basis slowly fizzle away as the days progress. Sometimes i can;t say i care, we have nothing lefti n common and i don’t particulary like what you are becoming so in my view let it happen. I’m not saying i’m perfect but at least i don;t live with my head stuck up somewhere it doesn;t belong, i believe in giving everybody a chance, letting everybody have there say and living life for what it is. Some of us do care about the consequences of our actions but sometimes we live without remembering them. Only bad girls make history right?

Sometimes you just need that somebody to walk in when it feels like the rest of the world seems to have disintergrated away for this or that reason. However although not obvious this person isn’t any member of your family or your best friend you have ever had, in fact it’s yourself. The only person responsible for the emotions you feel and the way you control them or what you do with them is you; Sometimes you have to give yourself that kick start of self motivation to actually get you doing something and change your process of thinking. Sure enough you’d love it for somebody to drop in a save you now and then but life ain;t no fairy tale so when theres no knight in shining armour or people are living there own dreams you have to pick yourself up and tell yourself everything is going to be okay, because after all it is your life and nobody elses.

What happens when you feel like everyone has walked out, your family don;t want to know, your college girls don;t know you well enough to talk about how you feel or even care about how you feel and the friends you thought knew you best walk all over you one by one asif it’s perfectly fine. Theres no where to turn and nobody to ocunt on any more and pretty soon youv’e already realised that the one and only person you can trust is yourself. As heartbreaking it can be to say this, and to all of those people who have someone close to them they feel like they know them inside and out i can,t really agree with you.

The one person in the whole entire world who’s life was your life, who’s gossip was your gossip, who’s secrets were your secrets. Gone. Nothing left of it because some people don’t know when enough is enough.

If getting older means all your close friends turn into bitches,
all the unexpected ones become the ones who you trust the most, and the person who knew what you were doing every second of the day is the one who ends up screwing you over the most.

then i really don’t want to get older.

with friends like these who needs enemys?

If getting older means all your close friends turn into bitches,
all the unexpected ones become the ones who you trust the most, and the person who knew what you were doing every second of the day is the one who ends up screwing you over the most.

then i really don’t want to get older.

with friends like these who needs enemys?

What need does money have when you want memories

What need does money have when you want a laugh

What need does money have when you want some advice.

But what need does money have all in all?

You’ve got to take every chance you get,
because if you don;t you will always live to wonder what might or could of been.
I’d rather regret something i did than regret not doing something.

How i have a feeling that everything is going to be ok at the end of the day.

How am i supposed to do whats right,
when everyday it feels like im in this fight.

Sometimes we put up walls to see who cares enough to tear them down…

Having nothing to do leads to over thinking silly things
Lets keep busy.